End of the World Travel

Tuesday 25 April 2017

Millenium Travel Pt 6


30/1/02 – Leonardo Di Caprio-half man half fish


So, as I mentioned earlier, a cheaper form of accommodation had been procured and we settled in for a quiet night watching a movie (The Beach). Now, for those that have seen this movie you will be aware of it's location (Thailand) and it's story line (strange). So imagine my surprise when I awoke next morning with the vivid vision of Leonardo as a half man half shark person.* I am noticing that my subconscious mind is definitely having a field day with my new surroundings and experiences.

*Note to self, dreaming of movie stars as part animal tends to kill any eroticism that may have been otherwise attained...of course it would depend on the type of animal and what bit of said movie star was being animally portrayed!...Is animally even a word? If not it should be.

We have met a nice couple who will accompany us on our waterfall journey as well as sharing the joy of using public transport, in another country, like the true intrepid travellers (IT) we have become. Lucky bus station is right by new accommodation as IT or not, I like to know where I am, how I got there and how I'm getting back! Slowly getting the hang of this “travelling malarky”*

*Malarky – nonsense (English)
Malarky – exaggerated talk (Urdu)
Malarky – Soldier, E Company, 101st airborne div (Band of Brothers, HBO TV series circa 2001)
Little bit of trivia...just in case you're interested.

So here I am again, rising at stupid o'clock in the morning and all ready to go by 6.30 am. Must say, not use to being up and about at this time (unless I'm just getting home...oh er) but when you're carefree and in foreign parts one appreciates the sunrise and the peaceful stillness of the morning. Another good thing about being a carefree traveller is the fact that if the early morning start proves a bit traumatic, you can return to bed for a snooze any time you like...ah the decadence of it all.

Went for breakfast with our new friends and it wasn't long before the conversation turned to stools* and the consistency thereof. Why, I hear you cry, would you be discussing the less pleasant bodily functions over your morning porridge? 

*Stools of the steaming rather than sitting on variety

Well, if you have a two hr bus journey plus a walk of several km ahead of you, these things become vital. At this point i think it fair to warn anyone travelling to S.E. Asia about the toilets, or rather, holes in the ground with ceramic footplates (if you're lucky).
Image result for image of toilet in se asia
Oh yes, I'm not joking. The attractive bucket on the left is your average flushing mechanism.



 Having a bit of a public toilet phobia* I am struggling with these ablution blocks (where squatting is the traditional stance) as leg strength and balance (two things I currently lack) play a huge part in the operation. So I would advise a few weeks at the gym prior to travelling to perfect this excersise.

*I once went round twice in a long queue for the toilet in a hotel as the pressure to perform was so great (can't go if rude people keep banging the f**king door...you know who you are). Ended up having to walk back to my accommodation, doubled over, to attain the privacy required to relieve myself!

So with breakfast and bowel movements organised and out of the way we set off, boarded the bus and headed for Erwan falls.
Nice view...and the waterfalls not bad either!
We arrived, what can I say, beautiful, awe inspiring, otherworldly, wet! What an amazing place, a seven tiered set of falls so inviting. Clear flowing water cascading into deep azure pools...bliss. You would think so wouldn't you but be warned. The main pool at the bottom was full of flesh sucking sobo carp (fish ) which attached themselves to your limbs as soon as you entered the water. Don't get me wrong, the fish weren't dangerous, just very unpleasant. Some people rave on about the benefits, cleaning any wounds, good for psoriasis and eczema etc but the experience just gave me the screaming ab dabs*

*Abdabs-akin to heebee jeebies. Not unlike the feeling you get when you hear nails scraping down a blackboard

From here on in any male administering unwanted attentions will be known as an SC (Sobo Carp) and will illicit the following response...SC 11 o'clock, dive,dive, make for cover, every woman for herself!

On returning we made an unofficial stop to enable our new friend to relieve herself. The bus driver was more than happy to wait for her which was very cool, can't see that happening on a number 36 to Victoria. We are definitely not in Catford* anymore.
Spent a quiet evening in the mellow surroundings of our latest raft house eating far to much (bowel movements not a concern as toilet close by) and watching movies. Our new friend (a nurse) has kindly furnished us with a list of potential medical ailments common to IT's in this part of the world as well as the medicine required to combat them. So our list covers everything from mouth ulcers to scabies inclusive of dysentery and intestinal worms. At this point the thought of continuing any further with my travels, knowing of the potential dangers to my person lurking in every meal, glass of water, or backpacker bed, has me wanting to run back to my room, pack my bags and leg it to the nearest western country with a first class health system! Forewarned is forearmed I suppose.

*Catford, for those who are not aware is a small suburb of S.E. London. Known for it's..erm...ah...well, not really know for anything actually apart from the fact I lived there briefly and Kate Bush who lived in Brockely which is just down the road.

N.B. So how did these chain of events change my life as I knew it?

Well, I have learned to plan ahead when in unknown territory with unknown number of public conveniences and, have discovered that I really need to work on the strength of my legs as a result of said public (and private) conveniences!







No comments: