Millennium Travel Pt 4

Pt 4– Road to Kanchanaburi (Still no sign of Bob or Bing!)

27/1/02 - Somewhere between Bangkok and Kanchanaburi

Packed up early and left the busy, smelly, so many people I’m afraid I’m going to get mugged, better safety pin my money bag to my knickers*, big smoke and hopped on a bus to the tranquil peaceful environment of the River Kwai. Using the very able services of the lonely planet guide, the IT and trusty TC find a very basic room on the river. When I say “on” I mean literally that. There are lots of little raft houses floating on the river which are connected by wooden slatted gangways (wouldn’t look out of place in an Indiana Jones movie. Probably “Temple of Doom”, 1984, as the rest were set in the desert).

*Hindsight now allows me to admit that the only consequence of this action, (in case you are considering it a good idea when embarking on your own travel experience), is likely to be this; if the bum-bag is grabbed, the additional pull on the pin would force it to open either stabbing me in the process or, ripping a huge hole in underwear, or worse, removing underwear altogether. At the very least I expect you would end up with a nasty welt or two somewhere in the lower abdominal region as well as being sans money bag.

My actual money bag attached to actual knickers

When I say “basic” I mean four walls, one roof, and two beds, rather like a cell actually. My good friend, Princess Funny fanny*, wouldn’t be seen dead here…There’s nowhere to plug in a hairdryer!

 *No, of course funny fanny is not her real name…honestly! She knows who she is and that's OK!

No matter, us back packers are a resilient (and a bit tight I’m beginning to realise) lot and it’s very picturesque…and cheap. Total rent 150bt, (Baht…Thai currency), which amounts to about £1.50 each. Absolute barg* I say.

*Sorry, am being frightfully lazy with the old language. I seem to have slipped into English upper class twit mode. The word I am referring to is of course bargain.

Righto, it is time to explore. I, along with TC, (who’s colouring is causing her a little difficulty what with all the sun and heat and the like) decide to view the countryside on pushbike (big and bulbous be dammed, rice and veg Asian size here I come).

Luckily, the terrain is very flat, allowing us to cycle at our leisure, and we eventually stumble on a WW II museum which is alongside an old POW camp (Prisoner of War... honestly, what do they teach you at school these days, lest we forget and all that!). After having a quick look round, there wasn’t much to see, a few old rifles, the original rail cars used by the Japanese to house the prisoners and the ruins of original R. Kwai bridge (unfortunately made famous by Alec Guinness movie rather than Japanese occupation of Thailand and appalling treatment of POW’s – Check out Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, 1983, David Bowie up to his neck in sand…you’ll soon get the picture).

I signed the visitor’s book and included a request for world peace (why wouldn’t you?). Maybe, because it’s written by an IT from “Norn Iron”, some entity somewhere (Buddha, Allah, God, the Universe or all of the above) might put it on their “Things to do Today” list…or am I just being arrogant and naive ? I mean, they must be very busy what with all the nonsense in the world today. Maybe there’s a specific request form one has to complete*

*In capital letters, using black ink, to be returned to the above address, in triplicate…failure to complete the written instructions will result in your request being lost forever in the system of whatever parallel universe the ill addressed form manages to find itself. N.B. The company takes no responsibility for requests that get lost in an inadequate system.

All in all, it turned out to be a very strange emotional kind of day. It might have had something to do with the fact that as we tried to make our way across the river Kwai, via the famous “Bridge” (blew up more times than a balloon apparently…just like the Europa Hotel in Belfast but without the bomb proof window glass!), we were assaulted by many Japanese people on route.

Bridge as it is today. Not my actual photo but one very similar to the one that I would most certainly have taken as a tourist and then lost in transit somewhere between then and now. 

I do not mean that they were physically assaulting us in manner of prisoners falling under the boot of the mighty oppressor, rather they surrounded us demanding pictures of these tall, statuesque, (me) fair Celtic coloured (TC), non-rice and veg sized females. Bit ironic I thought. What a difference 60 years makes. That would be an ecumenical matter I suppose.

Spent the evening in the communal guest area (more warm, varnished, carved wood, very nice) watching Robin Hood, 1991, Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman. One of the best versions in my humble opinion…no tights! Went to bed vaguely thinking “I wonder if anyone would die for me?”, when cynicism returned in all its sarcastic glory stating, “Only if it was an accident inadvertently caused by you via stupidity or clumsiness.”

28/1/02 - On a bike, somewhere in Kanchanburi, working on veg and rice Asian size body

Managed a mammoth cycle in a complete circle today, ending up exactly where we started, Which is what you want really isn’t it? We do however; remember how to get back to the bus station which is a bit of a bonus. We may have only been travelling for a week, but the penny pinching is setting in. We are moving to different digs tomorrow because it is 0.03p cheaper than where we are at the moment! This drastic tightening of the belts occurred as a direct result of being, in TC’s opinion, “fleeced” on a trip by a whole tenner*. With a completely different mindset, my feelings on the subject are as follows; “but we get to see an elephant, how often does that’s happen…c’mon!”

So, after several (but not as many as night one…growwwlll) beers and a game of pool, it’s off to bed in our new, 0.03p cheaper, room.

*In this case ten pounds stirling.

 N.B. So, how did these chain of events change my life as I knew it? 

Definitely highlighted the fear and nervousness naturally generated when one realises that there will be no more monthly paychecks for a while...even though funds have been saved, the first response is PANIC!