Millennium Travel Pt 2

Millenium Travel Pt2 - Sampeng - Bangkok

24/1/02 - Sampeng - Bangkok

HANGOVER ALERT! I’ve been bitten by the tiger…Nough said.

My Travelling Companion (TC)* has had her first shag** A 12yr old English boy, TC is 43, (He was 23yrs old actually. Thus embarks the I T’s journey into the benefits of recreational use of 20 something men…more to follow no doubt).

**Shag-A Sexual encounter (for those not acquainted with this colloquialism).

Not even 24hrs into our trip and TC has pissed me off already. “Ha ha, you’re just jealous.” I hear you cry. No and yes as a matter of fact. No, because the real reason for the pissed offedness is that she locked me out of the cockroach infested room until 4.30 in the morning, forcing me to endure a stealth induced frenzied attack from the local beer, and yes because I, (in my normal tradition), proceeded to get incredibly intoxicated*

*Pissed as a fart

(Mental note to self: Stop getting drunk and terrorising men. Try being nice to them…It might just work!)

Anyway, moving on, after re-locating to a much classier backpacking establishment, (warm varnished carved wood, smell of incense creating an exotic Asian feel), TC and I start to appreciate that we are not in Camden any more.

We decide to head off to Khao San road, famous for its seedy rooms and cheap designer bling. The combination of hangover and heat is seriously numbing my brain. Basic movement and co-ordination is still a problem and, to my absolute delight at this time, stalls of fried bugs have now been added to the plethora of sights and aromas assaulting me at every turn.

Our main aim at this stage is to acquire some sexy designer sun glasses and attire that befits the Irish traveller attempting to blend in with the local environment. In this case I am referring to anything cotton, tie dyed and floaty, in manner of hippy trying to find oneself and not, as traditionally pictured, of balaclava’d camouflage in manner of terrorist trying to find someone else! However, unfortunately for the 33yr old slightly overweight IT (that’s me, you’d forgotten already hadn’t you…please pay attention as I will not be reminding you again), free size does not fit all when sizing is based on the childlike frame of the average rice and vegetable eating south east Asian, as, opposed to the fried fish and chip eating European.

The first shopping experience of my trip is therefore less than pleasing. I return to the exotic smelling accommodation feeling fat, frumpy, hot, bothered and thirsty. TC has fared slightly better on the shopping front as she is of a smaller mold than I am in size and stature. I am starting to feel jet lagged and I find myself in possession of several pairs of Thai fishing trousers which can be best described as large nappies with legs. My only comfort at this time is that the newly discovered rapid bowel movements caused by the change of diet, (in conjunction with the heat, dehydration and the thought of fried bugs for tea) should have me fitting into the “one size fits all small Asian people“ in no time.

N.B. So, how did these chain of events change my life as I'd known it? 
I had a lesson in learning to love that which you cannot immediately change, i.e., my fish and chip eating European body and traditional, large nappy with legs, Thai trousers! :)